Jan 3rd • 582,329 notesI need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great
Jan 3rd • 71,006 notesIf you can laugh with your girl during sex then you found a keeper.
And vice versa.
Jan 3rd • 1,293 notesHey I know it’s getting pretty late,
But I was wondering, how are things
Around the office these days?
Did your boss ever give you that raise?
Does that girl still work next door,
The one with the fuck up teeth that you hate?
And anyway, I guess I’m just calling to say
I was thinking back to when we went to school upstate.
With a full week before classes in September,
You got the best seat in the house,
Sprawled out on the couch “for the night”
And stayed there for a whole semester.
Hey, I know it’s getting pretty late,
But I was thinking I could swing by
Your office tomorrow on your break.
You could tell your roommate to cover us
While we’re away.
Do you think that it would be a shame
If I wished that we were back in school again,
If only so I could walk you home?
Before you got your own place,
With your own bills to pay.
But I know it’s getting late
Tomorrow morning you’ve got work.
And I know you don’t like calling,
Putting yourself out there to get hurt.
But just say the word
And I’ll be outside in the parking lot
With the engine running by the curb.
Hey!
I’ll even let you pick the records we play.
All I want to do
Is waste some time with you
And drive the night away.
So if you get this message,
Call me back whenever.
I’ll be around all day.
Jan 3rd • 1,119,236 notesall i want is a partner who is way out of my league but thinks that i’m way out of their league and we’ll live together in perfect confused harmony with a dog
there will never be a post on this website that describes my life goals better than this one.
